Sue Scheff Shares her Story of Wit's End!

Weston, Florida - Parent Sue Scheff knows all too well the frustrations of dealing with a troubled teen. Being a single mom was tough, but as daughter Ashlyn reached her teenage years, the problems became too much to handle. Bad decisions and difficult situations left Sue Scheff with no choice but to look to outside help for her troubled teen and salvation for strained family.What she didn’t know continues to haunt her. Seven years after her devastating travels through the teen help industry,Sue Scheff has become an advocate for safe alternatives and parent education. Through her organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Scheff has helped numerous families safely and successfully find help.

http://www.daretotranscend.com/
http://www.transcendingdivorce.com/

"Leap, and the net will appear!" Julia Cameron

Listen to my new Radio Show, Journeys from the Heart...

Mom's Advice May Curb Binge Drinking

Source: Connect with Kids

“My mom is very level-headed, and she knows (I drink). She is very realistic.”

– Erik, college sophomore

College parties involving alcohol are common nationwide, and about one-quarter of all college students are binge drinkers. Twenty-year-old Erik says he is not a binge drinker, and one big reason is a conversation his mother had with him in the summer before his freshman year. “She told me, ‘I’m not naïve. I know you are going to drink. Just drink in moderation, don’t be stupid,’” Erik says.

That kind of warning, and particularly its timeliness, can be very effective, according to a study from Boise State University in Idaho. If mothers talk to their teens about alcohol during the period between high school and college, kids listen, the study found.

After one or more conversations with mom, the odds that a college student will binge drink fell from an estimated one-in-four, to as low as one-in-ten, according to the Idaho study.

A lot of what moms tell us as we grow up tends to stick with us for years, says Gary Santavicca, a family psychologist. “Whether we agree with or want to hear something that she has to say, typically since mother occupies such an important role in our lives, we are going to recall things that she communicates strongly and clearly to us,” Santavicca says.

The Idaho study also tested the effectiveness of specific warnings some mothers gave their kids. Most effective, moms should explain that drinking only makes problems worse, not better. Also, they should put into plain words how drinking could get teens in trouble with police, and how being caught drinking might lead to the publication of their arrest in the newspaper.

Erik says every time he drinks, he remembers what his mother told him about alcohol. “What bounces around in my head when I go to parties, use your head, and have a DD. All the time. Designated Driver all the time, that’s the most important thing,” Erik says.

Tips for Parents

Numerous studies conducted in recent years have noted the prevalence and dangers associated with binge drinking among college students. For example, some studies have revealed that the highest proportion of drinkers, heavy drinkers, and individuals with multiple substance dependencies have tended to be concentrated within the usual age range for college students.

According to research, some of the risks of binge drinking episodes include:

unplanned sexual activity
alcohol-related driving injuries and fatalities
sexual and physical assaults
date rape
physical injury
criminal mischief
property damage
trouble with campus and local police
Researchers have also found evidence for a relationship between parental characteristics and teen drinking tendencies. Some of the parental characteristics and beliefs associated with less teen drinking tendencies include:

parents' attitudes and beliefs about teens not drinking
limited parental alcohol consumption
parental disapproval approval of teen alcohol consumption
parental modeling of appropriate behavior
parental monitoring of the teenager
the quality of the parent—teen relationship
family management practices
parent—friend compatibility
A study, published in the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, shows evidence that discussions of the risks of binge drinking between mothers and teens in the summer immediately preceding the adolescent’s first year of college can help to reduce or prevent binge drinking episodes for those teens. The researchers found that student beliefs about the positive or negative effects of drinking predicted binge-drinking activities. Specifically, if students believe that drinking improved their social behavior or lifestyle, they were more likely to use alcohol and have a tendency to binge drink. According to the authors of the study, however, if mothers talked with students about the negative effects of alcohol and the consequences of drinking, the teens were less likely to do so. In fact, additional preliminary studies indicate that one or more mother-teen discussions before attending college can reduce the statistical risk of those students participating in binge drinking activities from 20% to 10%.

The influence of parents on their teenage children’s use and abuse of alcohol can be very strong. The following suggestions, excerpted from a National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism publication, provide ideas for ways that parents can positively influence their teens’ alcohol related behaviors.

Monitor alcohol use in the home
Connect with other parents to discuss potential alcohol problems among peer groups
Keep track of your teen’s activities, particularly after-school and on weekends.
Develop family rules about teen drinking. Incorporate family values and beliefs about appropriate behavior into the family rules for drinking.

Set a good example. Modeling appropriate behavior in the use of alcohol (i.e. don’t drink and drive) can be an important teaching tool to help your teen with drinking related decisions.
Don’t support teen drinking.

Help your child build healthy relationships.
Encourage healthy alternatives to alcohol.

References
Boise State University

The Ballad of the Adopted Child by Jeanne Droullard

DOES your teen,

- always seem angry?
- have anger that turns into rage?
- show signs of depression, i.e., withdrawal, slipping grades?
- show disrespect to you or disrespect people in authority?
- self-protect by keeping people at a distance?
- lie, manipulate and steal?
- ever talk about his/her biological parents?
- want to find his/her biological parents?

DO you,

- feel comfortable about your teen's behavior?
- recognize signs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)?
- believe you must be adopted to show signs of RAD?
- understand what is meant by the Primal Wound?
- think it makes a difference at what age a child is adopted?
- understand bonding and how it can be disrupted?
- understand the fear and pain of an adoptee?
- understand adoptee' difficulty in trusting and showing love


It can be difficult to know if your adopted teen's anger is normal and within the range of typical teenage behavior. Most teenagers get angry, especially during the years when their bodies are changing and the hormones can bring quick and severe mood swings. All teenagers are searching the world trying to find out who they are and what they want to become. They all want to know how the world will affect them and how they will affect the world.

If not addressed as a child, an adopted teenager has a duality of conflicts to overcome. Whether adopted as a baby or as an older child, this teenager has had a separation from the birth mother and this is a strong link that is not forgotten. Nancy Verrier calls this the Primal Wound. In the womb, Psychologists now agree that the child is very aware of the mother, how she smells, how she laughs and feels, even how she sounds. The baby has been inside the womb for nine months. This baby even realizes if it was a wanted pregnancy or an unwanted pregnancy - this baby knows. It also has an awareness of the physical, mental and emotional connection with the mother. Bonding begins before physical birth and possibly shortly after conception. Many professionals used to laugh at this idea and thought it impossible for a little baby to know and remember being separated from its birth mother. Alas, the tide has changed and the professionals now believe that this child couldn't help but know the separation from the birth mom that carried it - and this is the primal wound that stays with that child forever.

Read entire article here: http://www.helpyourteens.com/adoption/index.html

Sue Scheff on ABC News - WPBF-TV

What a great experience to share my book, Wit's End! and story with Lisa Hayward at ABC News in West Palm Beach!

A Mother and Daughter's True Story - Wit's End! By Sue Scheff

Learn more about Wit's End at www.witsendbook.com and author Sue Scheff at www.suescheff.com -the response has been overwhelming! If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit's End and learn more!

Teens Today by Vanessa Van Petten - Exposing the Net Generation!

Vanessa Van Petten the young author of You’re Grounded and offers an informational and incredible website about teens today! Visit http://www.onteenstoday.com/ and you will be amazed at the subjects and questions and answers you can find by exploring her website.

From Vanessa:

Welcome Brave Parents!

HOORAY! Finally, parenting advice from the kid’s perspective! It’s usually impossible to get more than one-word-answers from us, but with my book “You’re Grounded!” and my blog, I hope I can be honest about real issues that teens and pre-teens are dealing with, so you, the parents, can actually understand us (well at least a small part of our world)…and we can finally develop better relationships.
Have you ever wondered what really goes on in the mind of a teenager?As a teenager, have you ever wondered why parents really make your curfew so early?As a parent, have you hoped for a better understanding of the teenage years?
VISIT MY AMAZON PAGE!
I wrote this book when I was 17, I interviewed over 700 teenagers to bring you our real advice. I know that teens often feel lost and angry, and parents usually wish they can read our minds, because at around age 15, we start pulling away.
Please read my testimonials and description below of how my book can change. your. family. If you feel like you need to get to know me better first, no problem! I offer tons of free advice with daily posts, interviews and stories right here on the main page of my blog so you can get to know me. You can also sign up by email in the box on the right, bookmark my page or RSS!
You can also check out my new ebook: The Dirt E-Secrets of an Internet Kid!
I learned the hard way that parent-child relationships are precious. I want to help you and your family bridge the gap. Please email me with any questions!
We can do it together,
Vanessa

CBS4 Morning Show features Sue Scheff, Wit's End!

This morning I was on the CBS4 Jim and Jade in the Morning talking about my new book, Wit's End! Bringing awareness to parents that are considering residential therapy for their out-of-control teen as well as the giant organization, World Wide Association of Specialty Programs (WWASPS)/Carolina Springs Academy - which I defeated in a jury trial as they attempted to silence me - however I fought back and you can learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge.

(Sue Scheff) Is it a Diet or An Eating Disorder?

Source: Health A to Z

Your teenager skips meals, becomes obsessed with weight loss and goes on wacky diets. You wonder if this is a passing phase or one of those eating disorders you hear so much about.

While it's a leap to link a teen's poor eating habits to an eating disorder, experts contend poor dieting, if taken to the extreme, can in fact lead to a health-threatening, life-threatening eating disorder.

Pamela Guthrie, an outreach director for the American Anorexia Bulimia Association (AABA) a nonprofit organization dedicated to the prevention and treatment of eating disorders, characterizes eating disorders and disordered eating as different degrees of eating abnormally. Disordered eating may mean frequently missing meals, yo-yo dieting, popping diet pills (diuretics) and cutting out whole groups of food. Eating disorders, she explains, are not triggered solely by the desire to be thin.

"Eating disorders are about food, but they're really not about food," she says. "They are usually about psychological problems, low self-esteem, stress and depression."

People with eating disorders tend to use food to gain a sense of control when they feel out of control, to gain a sense of self-esteem and self-worth, to manage depression and to express anger and rebellion, according to Guthrie, who as outreach director travels around high schools and colleges to educate students about eating disorders.

A growing problem

Both disordered eating habits and eating disorders have grown to be a major problem among teenagers, according to both psychiatric and nutrition experts. And both, they say, are dangerous.

A teenager who has poor eating habits misses out on important vitamins and minerals that help prevent disease later on down the road. A teenager who has an eating disorder runs the risk of serious malnutrition, dehydration, heart disease or heart attack and other serious health consequences, according to AABA.

It's estimated that 90 percent of high school juniors and seniors have been on a diet, although only between 10 percent and 15 percent are overweight, Guthrie says. What's more, 80 percent of 10-year-old girls and 50 percent of 9-year-old girls have been on a diet, according to the Council on Size and Weight Discrimination, a nonprofit organization in New York.

As for true eating disorders, the American Psychiatric Association estimates that between 1 percent and 4 percent of teens and young adults have one type of eating disorder or another, such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Nutritionist Frances Berg, editor of the "Healthy Eating Journal" and author of the book "Afraid to Eat: Children and Teens in Weight Crisis," cautions parents that their own eating habits, particularly if they are rabid dieters, can set their children up for poor and even dangerous eating practices. "Adults keep running after every new weight-loss program or product while their kids watch their bizarre behavior and think it's normal," Berg says.

Eating disorder characteristics

How can you tell whether your child's dieting practices have gone too far and may be signs of an eating disorder? Guthrie says it's important for parents to first educate themselves about good nutrition and eating disorders.

The characteristics of the two eating disorders associated with obsessive weight loss:

People who have anorexia eat very little even though they are thin. They have an intense fear of body fat and weight gain.
People with bulimia tend to binge and purge. That is, they will get rid of food that they have just eaten by vomiting or taking laxatives or diuretics (water pills). They also have a fear of body fat even though their size or weight may be normal for them.
"With an anorexic, the first things to look for are the physical signs. They will show distinct weight loss," Guthrie says. "The signs are harder to see with a bulimic. A parent should look for behaviors, such as a constant obsession with food and weight or constant comments about foods being too fattening."

Another sign of someone having bulimia is not wanting to eat with the rest of the family. "They may want to eat in private, or they go to the bathroom (to purge) after they eat," Guthrie adds.

They may also offer excuses for why they don't want to eat. "They say they're too busy to eat. They're not hungry in the morning. They don't like cafeteria food," Guthrie says.

Parents and school coaches should also be on the lookout for what experts call "exercise bulimia." "Too much exercise can be just as dangerous as purging," Guthrie contends. "If they eat a piece of cake, they think they have to work that off. They exercise several hours every day."

Finally, Guthrie advises parents to look for signs of depression or antisocial behavior closely related to eating disorders. If you suspect your teenager has an eating disorder, don't keep your suspicions to yourself. "Sit down with your child and let them know you're really worried about them," she says.

Sue Scheff on Miami DayBreak

What a great show - Miami DayBreak featured my new book "Wit's End!" and helped bring awareness to a very daunting teen help industry. Stay tuned as the show is added to my Podcast Website.

http://miamibeach.plumtv.com/videos/parental_advice

Sue Scheff Launches Wit's End!

From the same publishers that brought you the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, now offers you "Wit's End!"

My story if filled with inspiration and hope as well as offers parents and people that work with today's pre-teens and teens, advice and resources for today's struggling teens.

The response has been overwhelming since we launched the book!

I am very proud of my daughter who spoke for the first time publicly in Wit's End! Hear her story of what she endured at Carolina Springs Academy.

Most importantly- learn from our mistakes so you don't make the same ones.